[ the only good thing about bosuma is that it's not really that hard to get back to recolle if you try hard enough. the witch had warned him, three days, and in the fog of confusion and memories and everything, nazuna--now, hina's, feet have guided him back towards his own dorm.
he didn't run into anyone on the way here. lost and confused, it was probably a good thing. there's no cheerful nazuna poking his head into rooms in the hallway to make sure everyone's okay, no one fussing over the activity boards or offering help to lost looking freshmen, there's just--hina, fumbling with his keys and putting them in the lock of his door. he's not sure how he knows this is his, really, but it feels right, and the lock clicks as he opens it, closes it, and then pauses with his hand on the door, trying to force himself to remember anything. anything. what good is a useless doll like this--given a simple task he can't even complete?
his shoulders drop, just for a second, and then, hina stops, looks up.
[there is, apparently, because a head pops up from the couch and stares at the other, and leo grins brightly.]
You're back~. Hey-- [the name stops in his throat, because he remembers it but it's not... coming out, and leo furrows his brow for a moment before sitting up.] Nn. Weird. Okay. Anyway, Tsuchin-tan's missed you, and so have I~. Let me make you some tea, sit down, you look tired.
[more like lost, but. tired. it's probably tiredness. before nazuna can say a word he's up and into the kitchen area, mouthing nazuna's name silently as he makes some licorice root tea and trying his damnest to actually voice it and failing.]
it puts a little damper on our plans, but look at it this way, tsuka it'll be a surprise wherever we go! thanks though ♪ i still want to hang out with you, so let's meet somewhere and then paint our own path
[ having texted leo to pop by when he got the chance on his birthday, nazuna's not there, but there's a card resting on his front table, along with a very cute cupcake.
the card has a ticket inside--for a round of karaoke at the closest karaoke room bar. written on the card in nazuna's cute handwriting is a note: ]
Happy birthday, Leochin! This is for just me and you, okay? I'll even buy you a drink.
Thank you for always making my life interesting. U(⁎˃ᆺ˂)U Here's to a lot more birthdays!
[MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM that's basically an exclusive performance by nazuna..! he will. refuse to think hard about the warmth snaking in his chest and how he wants to use it right now immediately, an itch to play music and sing almost unbearably strong, and leave a short post it note for nazuna to find much later
because leo ain't comin here tonight. it has a rabbit and cat curled stylistically together next to his name.]
thanks, leo
b/d to 5/2, there's a lot of handwaving in this so lmk if it needs fixing
[ Considering Mao's only now getting to know Tsukasa, he really has no connection to his brother, but after Izumi showed him Hinata talking about Tsukasa and him getting their ears pierced, well. Mao couldn't be the lone holdout in their year, could he? It's just one little hole in a non-essential body part... right?
Which is why he's letting Izumi lead him to a shop Izumi swears will take great care of him. He can't imagine anybody he'd trust more with a recommendation than Izumi even if his friend hasn't ever actually gotten any piercings done by anybody other than himself. He'll be the best moral support, too, which Mao thinks he might need. Sure, he's committed, but... he could still change his mind. Probably. ]
[it's a neat little place, very professional looking despite some cats laying outside and somewhat inside of it on anyplace that isn't occupied by work, and leo's sketching some designs for his boss when he spots the two approaching.
izumi's a good sight (always gonna enjoy anyone who calls him leonii in some seriousness) and his friend is. very cute. a nice, symmetrical face. leo props his chin in his hand and wiggles his fingers at them.]
Hey there~. I'm not gonna judge on appearances, but I know at least one of you needs some permission for a tat, so I hope you're not hoping I can sneak you one. Even if I'd do it.
[ ...he still doesn't know how much he wants leo to be in the group chat
but it is for those who remember yumenosaki, and sena had left it up to him. it's been enough time that he probably won't be mobbed either...
tsukasa stares at his screen for a while, typing and retyping, until he settles for: ]
「Good evening, Leonii. I'm in a group chat with Sena-senpai and a couple of other people who share memories with us... You've probably already met most of them, honestly. Do you want to join? There's a couple of rules I'd like you to adhere to if so, but they're not official or anything.」
[ anyone with a brain could tell that leo was in a bad mood. nazuna watched the entire conversation with ritsu go down on the groupchat, and he'd been feeling uneasy then, let alone with leo started banging around on the keyboard.
it's been sort of a weird evening because of it. nazuna's stuck to his room, looking over lesson plans, taking down notes, finding any sort of busy work to keep his mind from wandering too far away. it's only when it's quiet, and nazuna's sure that leo hasn't just left the house, he makes his way over to his room, and knocks his fist gently against the doorframe, voice soft in the still half dark apartment. ] Leochin...?
[ he sounds a little hesitant--he won't stay if leo doesn't want him to. ]
[he'd thrown his frustration and undue anger at the keyboard, and while the instrument hadn't suffered for it his hands have; they hurt even now, and he focus on stretching them between trying to tranpose his compositions... which goes about as well as it ever does.
everything really does make sense when he has it in the air versus written on paper.
the knock gets his attention, though, and he chews on his lip for a moment before leaning back in his seat, folding his hands over his stomach.]
his sleep schedule is unusual at best, he's usually up with a pair of headphones and his keyboard, but his phone lights up and... that's a strange sentiment coming from miai, isn't it. actually being upset.
leo puts the meanness from his mind and settles back in his seat, not thinking twice about replying.]
it's okay i'm pretty upset at myself over some things too what's bugging you, aiai? talk to me
[ he'd texted leo an hour out like he said he would, and it's a while later that he comes home; the place is quiet though, and tsukasa hesitates in the doorway before he steps in, locks it behind him, and goes to leo's room
he looks so small, curled up in his chair like that. tsuiasa sneaks up behind him and hugs him, arms around his neck and head resting on his. ]
[it's telling that he didn't hear tsukasa come in, idly tapping at his keyboard with one hand and phone tossed off onto his bed, and the disjointed music comes to a halt in his ears at the touch, the sound and warmth of his little brother.
he turns his head up and grins, ruffling tsukasa's hair.]
his tiny sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he has never been more overjoyed..♪ and he has time before the fashion show and the world going to absolute shit so why not.]
of course, lily ♪ it'd be my pleasure to take you out!!! maybe we'll even be able to take whatever flavors we want without complaints (and leave money, of course stealing is wrong and bad)
i've met some old friends and made new friends and i'm starting up a band again, it's nothing special
[ it's like deja-vu, but at the same time it's not. even though the festivities are over, sena finds himself in one in his dreams once more, wearing the same blue yukata, brushing leo's hair back as he fixes the mask on his head. the environment around them hasn't changed, except for the fact that he and leo seem to be the only people around, even though they can still hear the crowds, the games being played from yonder, food being fried -
it's like june all over again, is it?
but he doesn't find it strange this time, his own eyes too focused on leo's as he keeps running his hand through his hair a few more times a little more distractedly.they should hang some tanzaku up by now, but... ]
[leo doesn't mind the lack of people. it makes it easier to find each other, to see the sights, to hang tanzaku. which they should do, probably, but
they're not, for some reason, and leo can't really bring himself to care when sena's stroking his hair like that, eyes sliding shut after a moment as he leans against the other with a soft noise. this is nice.]
I still wanna lay in your lap, Mitzy.
[that'd be nice. being caressed like this, resting in the gardens maybe. mm. yeah.]
is not a nice thing to hear, so of course he's starting to head over to lily's house... he's assuming she's there, god help him if she's not. stay calm, stay cool, don't panic.]
i've been awake since like five in the morning i have no idea what you do to your body but that is too early have you EVER thought of like idk sleeping in for once of your life? also what the hell did you put on your face before you slept because i accidentally licked some and gagged
that said i have never felt prettier in my entire life so give me some of your steps
the message is, though, and dread wakes in his heart; he sneaks out of nazuna's house, slips away from the warmth of the nito siblings, and stands at the stairs of the shrine soon enough, a simply "omw" as his answer.
they'd never looked so daunting, so high, so many. baba'd been sleeping more, he'd known, and he'd confessed his fears and worries to kuro when he'd gone over to adjust his cheerleader outfit, had meant to talk to baba sooner, but--
well. fear, as it resides in his heart now, has a silver tongue with excuses, and leo can't help but feel he's being punished for it now. his legs shake as he forces himself forward, gripping at his arms painfully.]
[ he'd texted leo earlier letting him know he'd be stopping by to pick up ajisai-tan, given he... he can actually have her now, instead of having her be babysat by his older brother. it's been months since he was promised her, and he's come to visit from time to time so that she'd recognize him...♪
but, mm.
after last month... after a lot of things...
tsukasa hesitates outside, fist resting on the door. he hasn't knocked yet, and given the questions mulling about in his mind, in his stomach, he doesn't know if he wants to. but!! ajisai is just past there, in the apartment, so... he drums his knuckles on the door, raising his voice a little. ]
[leo'd prepped her up for travel, tying a cute blue bow around her neck after she and alexander had played (gently, gently), and hearing tsukasa's voice lightens the poor mood he's been in since august; he swings over to the door, opening it without hesitation, and throws his arms around tsukasa.]
Tsuka, your favorite older brother's happy to see you..♪ Aji-tan is too, she's been wa~iting for you to come by. ♪
[the cat meows in agreement, padding over with her tail raised. alexander watches with interest, standing with a stretch, mouth widening in a yawn.]
Even Alex-tan's interested~. Come in, come in, I'll get some snacks~.
[because ever since he's started coming around to stay (not just by miai's request, he's been doing in every now and then for a week before that), there's been a little extra this and that. leo's picked up things for himself too.]
[ well, there's nothing like waking up from what was basically a coma to give you time to think.
the whole other life of the summer felt a little like a dream. when nazuna awoke with kuro kicked effectively out of his head right next to him on the floor, his house was the same as it had been in june, when he first moved out of his dorm. there weren't any toys strewn around a bigger apartment, no little feet pattering on the floor, no arguing or other siblings floating around. there was just nazuna, blinking a little curiously up at his ceiling and rubbing his head.
it's been a few days since he woke up properly, and things are starting to feel really blurry. nazuna's slid back into the school year like nothing's really changed, but it's been easier to put off the bad things he didn't want to think about. the life he was living now was...it wasn't too complicated. he was pretty happy with leo, the life they lived.
the nazuna in the dream dive had been similar. complacent, a doll to be picked up and moved from place to place. does he...does he still want to be that way? apollo had said the same thing. are you really that happy?
it's. complicated. it's complicated, and he can't put off talking about it anymore. nazuna doesn't want to be a coward, and he doesn't want to hurt leo--he's seen the way he's talked about miai, just like he's seen the way izumi looked at him during the whole body-swap fiasco. nazuna knows he's low on the list. he knows he's caging leo in, even just a little.
it's time to set him free.
at home seems like an okay place to talk about it. he's not sure where else. nazuna has no idea how to even approach something like this. (it's bad, it's so bad, he's so bad at dealing with other people, how can anyone think otherwise.) so he waits until it's a little later in the evening, then knocks very quietly on the doorframe of leo's bedroom, voice soft, anxiety a knot in his stomach. ] Leochin... Can we talk?
[maybe the worst is how unaware leo is; he loves nazuna so much, even if he's not in love with nazuna, and he's happy, content, perfectly fine with this.
sure, things aren't. perfect. he thinks of miai more than he should, he doesn't mind the attention sena has towards him, but he loves nazuna and pushes all of that aside for him. he pushes a lot aside for nazuna, for the nitos, and it's nice to belong someplace. it's nice to have a home.
(it's not quite as home as-- well, he won't think of it, not when there's nazuna at the door, voice soft.
soft, and with a weight in word choice that washes a familiar feeling over him ("my cute little shishi, i have something to tell you").)]
Course~. Come in, babe, I'm not doin' anything important.
[just. writing songs, you know. getting used to actually putting them to paper over composing them on the keyboard. even if he's sitting at it, leo's got a clipboard and music sheets, a pen trapped between his teeth.]
4/3 what a great way to start this inbox
he didn't run into anyone on the way here. lost and confused, it was probably a good thing. there's no cheerful nazuna poking his head into rooms in the hallway to make sure everyone's okay, no one fussing over the activity boards or offering help to lost looking freshmen, there's just--hina, fumbling with his keys and putting them in the lock of his door. he's not sure how he knows this is his, really, but it feels right, and the lock clicks as he opens it, closes it, and then pauses with his hand on the door, trying to force himself to remember anything. anything. what good is a useless doll like this--given a simple task he can't even complete?
his shoulders drop, just for a second, and then, hina stops, looks up.
...is there someone in this room besides him? ]
a beautiful way
You're back~. Hey-- [the name stops in his throat, because he remembers it but it's not... coming out, and leo furrows his brow for a moment before sitting up.] Nn. Weird. Okay. Anyway, Tsuchin-tan's missed you, and so have I~. Let me make you some tea, sit down, you look tired.
[more like lost, but. tired. it's probably tiredness. before nazuna can say a word he's up and into the kitchen area, mouthing nazuna's name silently as he makes some licorice root tea and trying his damnest to actually voice it and failing.]
i love suffering
big mood
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04/14 thirst
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04/26
i need you and your singin cats asap for somethin extremely important
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what's up
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5/2
how did my ipod find its way into my room?
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hm.]
i can honestly say i have no idea
it's not like i know where you live after all
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5/5
here, i've given one of your songs a spin
give it a listen
[ n-not that it's because it's his birthday or anything, baka. ]
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mine as in the me i am now or mine as in what was in our past life
i'll listen to it either way, but i wanna know first
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05/05
... Happy birthday anyway, Leonii ♪
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it'll be a surprise wherever we go!
thanks though ♪
i still want to hang out with you, so let's meet somewhere and then paint our own path
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5/5... hiatuses...
the card has a ticket inside--for a round of karaoke at the closest karaoke room bar. written on the card in nazuna's cute handwriting is a note: ]
Happy birthday, Leochin!
This is for just me and you, okay?
I'll even buy you a drink.
Thank you for always making my life interesting. U(⁎˃ᆺ˂)U
Here's to a lot more birthdays!
Love,
Nazuna
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because leo ain't comin here tonight. it has a rabbit and cat curled stylistically together next to his name.]
thanks,
leo
b/d to 5/2, there's a lot of handwaving in this so lmk if it needs fixing
Which is why he's letting Izumi lead him to a shop Izumi swears will take great care of him. He can't imagine anybody he'd trust more with a recommendation than Izumi even if his friend hasn't ever actually gotten any piercings done by anybody other than himself. He'll be the best moral support, too, which Mao thinks he might need. Sure, he's committed, but... he could still change his mind. Probably. ]
o7
izumi's a good sight (always gonna enjoy anyone who calls him leonii in some seriousness) and his friend is. very cute. a nice, symmetrical face. leo props his chin in his hand and wiggles his fingers at them.]
Hey there~. I'm not gonna judge on appearances, but I know at least one of you needs some permission for a tat, so I hope you're not hoping I can sneak you one. Even if I'd do it.
[fight parental control, kids]
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5/21
but it is for those who remember yumenosaki, and sena had left it up to him. it's been enough time that he probably won't be mobbed either...
tsukasa stares at his screen for a while, typing and retyping, until he settles for: ]
「Good evening, Leonii.
I'm in a group chat with Sena-senpai and a couple of other people who share memories with us...
You've probably already met most of them, honestly.
Do you want to join?
There's a couple of rules I'd like you to adhere to if so, but they're not official or anything.」
[ yes, that's in japanese. ]
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「yeah sure why not
what kind of rules?」
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after groupchat stuff
it's been sort of a weird evening because of it. nazuna's stuck to his room, looking over lesson plans, taking down notes, finding any sort of busy work to keep his mind from wandering too far away. it's only when it's quiet, and nazuna's sure that leo hasn't just left the house, he makes his way over to his room, and knocks his fist gently against the doorframe, voice soft in the still half dark apartment. ] Leochin...?
[ he sounds a little hesitant--he won't stay if leo doesn't want him to. ]
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everything really does make sense when he has it in the air versus written on paper.
the knock gets his attention, though, and he chews on his lip for a moment before leaning back in his seat, folding his hands over his stomach.]
Yeah, Nazu?
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6/23 after leo heads to bed
sorry
i was upset with myself
over some other things
unrelated
it wasn't really you or anyone
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his sleep schedule is unusual at best, he's usually up with a pair of headphones and his keyboard, but his phone lights up and... that's a strange sentiment coming from miai, isn't it. actually being upset.
leo puts the meanness from his mind and settles back in his seat, not thinking twice about replying.]
it's okay
i'm pretty upset at myself over some things too
what's bugging you, aiai?
talk to me
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6/23
he looks so small, curled up in his chair like that. tsuiasa sneaks up behind him and hugs him, arms around his neck and head resting on his. ]
I'm home, Leonii. Everything okay?
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he turns his head up and grins, ruffling tsukasa's hair.]
Of course~. How were your stars?
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06/23
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his tiny sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he has never been more overjoyed..♪ and he has time before the fashion show
and the world going to absolute shitso why not.]of course, lily ♪
it'd be my pleasure to take you out!!!
maybe we'll even be able to take whatever flavors we want without complaints
(and leave money, of course
stealing is wrong and bad)
i've met some old friends and made new friends and i'm starting up a band again, it's nothing special
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7/9 let's give them a few days to recover,
it's like june all over again, is it?
but he doesn't find it strange this time, his own eyes too focused on leo's as he keeps running his hand through his hair a few more times a little more distractedly.they should hang some tanzaku up by now, but... ]
you mean for sena to recover,
they're not, for some reason, and leo can't really bring himself to care when sena's stroking his hair like that, eyes sliding shut after a moment as he leans against the other with a soft noise. this is nice.]
I still wanna lay in your lap, Mitzy.
[that'd be nice. being caressed like this, resting in the gardens maybe. mm. yeah.]
look.
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07/03
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what is it, what is it ~
what can your ousama do for you~?
[please don't be a problem,]
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07/15 voicemail
[Next is a mixture of words that are hard to tell what she's saying through hiccups and tears. After a moment she takes a breath.]
C-Can I see you?
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is not a nice thing to hear, so of course he's starting to head over to lily's house... he's assuming she's there, god help him if she's not. stay calm, stay cool, don't panic.]
Where're you at? Home?
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uhhh let's say 8/11
leo
leokun
leo
get the fuck up
you'd better not be oversleeping while you're in my body, dammit
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five in the morning
i have no idea what you do to your body but that is too early have you EVER thought of like
idk
sleeping in for once of your life?
also what the hell did you put on your face before you slept because i accidentally licked some and gagged
that said
i have never felt prettier in my entire life so give me some of your steps
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08/08
Baba wants to see you.
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the message is, though, and dread wakes in his heart; he sneaks out of nazuna's house, slips away from the warmth of the nito siblings, and stands at the stairs of the shrine soon enough, a simply "omw" as his answer.
they'd never looked so daunting, so high, so many. baba'd been sleeping more, he'd known, and he'd confessed his fears and worries to kuro when he'd gone over to adjust his cheerleader outfit, had meant to talk to baba sooner, but--
well. fear, as it resides in his heart now, has a silver tongue with excuses, and leo can't help but feel he's being punished for it now. his legs shake as he forces himself forward, gripping at his arms painfully.]
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09/01 what a great way to end this inbox.
but, mm.
after last month... after a lot of things...
tsukasa hesitates outside, fist resting on the door. he hasn't knocked yet, and given the questions mulling about in his mind, in his stomach, he doesn't know if he wants to. but!! ajisai is just past there, in the apartment, so... he drums his knuckles on the door, raising his voice a little. ]
Leoniiii, your favorite little brother is here~?
rude
Tsuka, your favorite older brother's happy to see you..♪ Aji-tan is too, she's been wa~iting for you to come by. ♪
[the cat meows in agreement, padding over with her tail raised. alexander watches with interest, standing with a stretch, mouth widening in a yawn.]
Even Alex-tan's interested~. Come in, come in, I'll get some snacks~.
[because ever since he's started coming around to stay (not just by miai's request, he's been doing in every now and then for a week before that), there's been a little extra this and that. leo's picked up things for himself too.]
look me in the eye and tell me this isn't the day leo dIES
its true
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backdated to like 8/30 idk
the whole other life of the summer felt a little like a dream. when nazuna awoke with kuro kicked effectively out of his head right next to him on the floor, his house was the same as it had been in june, when he first moved out of his dorm. there weren't any toys strewn around a bigger apartment, no little feet pattering on the floor, no arguing or other siblings floating around. there was just nazuna, blinking a little curiously up at his ceiling and rubbing his head.
it's been a few days since he woke up properly, and things are starting to feel really blurry. nazuna's slid back into the school year like nothing's really changed, but it's been easier to put off the bad things he didn't want to think about. the life he was living now was...it wasn't too complicated. he was pretty happy with leo, the life they lived.
the nazuna in the dream dive had been similar. complacent, a doll to be picked up and moved from place to place. does he...does he still want to be that way? apollo had said the same thing. are you really that happy?
it's. complicated. it's complicated, and he can't put off talking about it anymore. nazuna doesn't want to be a coward, and he doesn't want to hurt leo--he's seen the way he's talked about miai, just like he's seen the way izumi looked at him during the whole body-swap fiasco. nazuna knows he's low on the list. he knows he's caging leo in, even just a little.
it's time to set him free.
at home seems like an okay place to talk about it. he's not sure where else. nazuna has no idea how to even approach something like this. (it's bad, it's so bad, he's so bad at dealing with other people, how can anyone think otherwise.) so he waits until it's a little later in the evening, then knocks very quietly on the doorframe of leo's bedroom, voice soft, anxiety a knot in his stomach. ] Leochin... Can we talk?
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sure, things aren't. perfect. he thinks of miai more than he should, he doesn't mind the attention sena has towards him, but he loves nazuna and pushes all of that aside for him. he pushes a lot aside for nazuna, for the nitos, and it's nice to belong someplace. it's nice to have a home.
(it's not quite as home as-- well, he won't think of it, not when there's nazuna at the door, voice soft.
soft, and with a weight in word choice that washes a familiar feeling over him ("my cute little shishi, i have something to tell you").)]
Course~. Come in, babe, I'm not doin' anything important.
[just. writing songs, you know. getting used to actually putting them to paper over composing them on the keyboard. even if he's sitting at it, leo's got a clipboard and music sheets, a pen trapped between his teeth.]
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