Nope! Just texting with Mitzy a bit, he covered one of my songs..♪ It doesn't fit his vocals one bit, so I told him to do one of my more ballady ones instead. That was a bit ago though.
[your brother doesn't realize the connection between his bday and sena Suddenly deciding to sing one of his songs.]
[ oh, that's such a nice birthday gift though... ♪ tsukasa'll pull away and check his phone, umm~ the gardens at koyama shrine were really pretty, they'll probably have to restore them but that should be fine... hm-hm. ]
Mmm, okay... This way. [ taking leo's hand and pulling him along. ] Sena-senpai has a really lovely voice though, doesn't he? It suits him as much as a smile does... ♪ Even if it's also sort of weird to see him smile, too...? It's a little hard to describe. Mmm, he looks really lovely when he's happy, but it's such an odd expression since he's usually pretty grumpy... I guess.
That's right. I was in it too, actually... [ ... ] But just as a backup dancer, I didn't sing or anything like that. Though I ended up singing that month anyway... Caroling for a charity thing, plus Hinata and Mafuyu dragged me into it when they were singing, too.
[ ahaha. ]
It was... fun, I guess. Performing like that, even if I'm really no good at it. [ swing, swing... ] I don't think I'd go for it for real though, not like in my memories. Just because I was an idol or something then doesn't mean I have to be one now, right..?
Of course not, Tsuka~. You're gonna be a vet, right? Work with animals and all that? You can consider your memories an exciting adventure you get to experience for free.
[leo thinks he might be the only one inclined towards it? sena... said that he understood that feeling that leo spoke about, loves to sing, but. he's not for it, probably, pigeonholed into a model's life, songbird that he is. kuro's not inclined, nazuna hates singing for the most part (unless it'a with leo, only leo, who pushes him out of his comfort zone and admitted it became fun again with him), ritsu's also not inclined to his knowledge, and tsukasa would know the younger generation better than him.
it's a little lonely, the idle thought passes by, but he pays it little mind.]
It can be a hobby, too, since you're not planning on taking it seriously. Doing things like that half-assed means you're trying it ten years too early~.
[ that's more or less what clover told him, too, and the tension eases off his chest a little.
it starts again at a brief memory, but it's about composing, not performing, and tsukasa feels as embarrassed at asking as he is in his memories. a stupid question, both times. that was at the archery club again, huh... mm, a lot of things between him and leader happened then, didn't they. ]
I think taking it as a hobby's too serious for me too, really. [ mm. ] Would you like it more if I was interested in it though...? I mean, we had fun singing when we were younger, but I...
[ ... ]
I stopped after you left. [ a glance away. really, didn't their singing sessions become less frequent the older leo got, the less happy he was with their home situation, with their parents anyway...? ] It isn't like Mom and Dad discouraged me or anything, but I didn't feel like singing if you weren't going to be around to do it with me.
[they had. as that relationship worsened, as leo begun to leave more and earlier and stay out longer than before, those lessons began to fade... the childhood they'd prized had begun to fade, ignorance and innocence hand in hand, just as tsukasa and leo are now.
he swings them idly, looking ahead and biting the inside of his cheek. ahhh, he'd been selfish, running off... he should've just apologized and lived as he had before. he could've waited until he'd become an adult, right? he could've done whatever he wanted then, but instead he left tsukasa, he--]
We~ll, I'm here now, so we can sing as much as we please. ♪ It doesn't matter to me if you're interested in it or not, just that you have fun while doing it.
[it's all lightly said, kindly said, and he squeezes tsukasa's hand. then, a little quieter, though he's still not looking at his brother. leo feels like if he does, he'll cry.]
... I missed you a lot in Japan, Tsuka. I thought every day of you, and I wondered how you were. If you were still doing watercolors, if you sang with Baba, if Mom and Dad had thrown out whatever I'd left behind... or if you'd hidden it away. Every birthday I wished I could be with you. I won't say I regret leaving, but I wish I'd taken you with me. You would've loved it there.
[but that doesn't solve anything. it doesn't dissolve him of his guilt, doesn't absolve him of his crimes, doesn't resolve the slight hesitance, the distance between them. leo knows this, but he never wants tsukasa to think for a second that he doesn't love him.]
Ah, but that's a little sad for a birthday, huh..~ Mm, mm, Tsuka, let's make up for the years we were apart today. ♪
[ tsukasa's sure if he looks at leo now too, hell start crying, so he focuses on painting their way with little splatters of paint from his brush, swiping it through the air and ignoring the squeeze in his chest.
a sixteen year old, running off with a twelve year old. there's no way, not in any of their dreams, could that have really happened. leo was too selfish; tsukasa was too young. he knows that, and he knows his brother knows that. airports might be willing to let sixteen year olds go on by themselves, but with siblings four years younger than them...? unlikely.
he doesn't realize he's holding his breath until it comes out in a shaky laugh, mixed with feelings he doesn't know how to put a name to. saru o kiku, hito sutego ni aki no, kaze ika ni? ]
Sure, Leonii. [ maybe he would've loved it there, but maybe he would've hated it, too. maybe they would've never moved back here and maybe he would've never met the people who've become important to him, and maybe somehow, some way, that would've been better?
but really
he doesn't want it to be. he loves his brother, but he's realized he wouldn't trade away how he grew up without him for a life where he did. maybe that's the hurt hidden in his heart talking, and he jerks leo's hand as he goes a little faster. tsukasa suzakura's always worn his heart as a mask, but today, he's trying his best to grin when he turns to his brother, eyes shut tightly. ] Mm, yeah, let's do that! Which means— Leonii, let's get you a cake first, and then we can eat it when we're sitting down!
[leo decides ignoring the way tsukasa hides things is fine for today -- but just today, because he wants to forget the past and be in the present with his brother's hand in his -- and squeezes his hand again, picking up the pace jovially.]
Surprise me with the flavor~♪ I'll stand outside the bakery, so go all out!
[candles don't matter. he doesn't care about that. just a cake to share with his little brother.]
[ a surprise, huh...~? he wonders if it's too mean to go with something he remembers his brother hating to see if he still hates it. probably.
the first bakery they find that's actually functional is the one that he goes into, and it's a while before he comes out with a massive cookie cake, with "happy birthday" pied in a weird gradient of yellow-pink frosting. actually, all of the frosting—from the balloons and fake streamers, to the lions he'd asked for—are that color.
...that was the blend a pair did for them okay, look— ]
Mom and Dad never let us have one of these, right~?
[whatever patience his brother had waiting outside is swiftly taken care of, reaching for the cookie cake and gingerly taking it in his hands. ahhhhh..!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!]
Thank you. ♪ Let's go, let's go, I wanna dig into this as soon as possible! ♪ Oooh, the lions are a nice touch, you're such a sweet boy, Tsuka. ♪
Well, you're "Leo," so... [ ♪ but alright, alright, he'll check his phone for their progress and go back to flicking paint on their way to koyama shrine. ] Of course I asked for lions.
[ Of Course. safer, too, than asking for leo's name to be on the cake. ]
Mmm...~ Ten minutes until we arrive at our destination, Leoniisan. [ a touch more formal, but only because he's playing. ] Hopefully it isn't too much empty space, ahaha... It'd be nice if it was painted even a little bit already.
[leoniisan.....!!!!!!! he could melt in happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!! but he will be strong, because he can't let his brother see him be Too embarrassing.]
I bet it is. There's been a lot of work done in a short amount of time, you know..♪ But if it isn't, then we'll just splash here and there and have tons of fun!
It's too bad we can't use buckets or anything like that. [ just their...... Wait. ] Why don't we sort of, mm... Let our brushes drip into something like that, and then pour it everywhere?
[ THIS WOULD BE #DELINQUENCY IF THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE PAINTING THE WORLD ]
Oh, right... The one that doesn't really suit your image, but it's pretty popular anyway, right? [ ...well, popular for the degree of... popularity leo was. is?
oh, but not bad ♪ well, he has faith that sena can sing pretty much anything, though. ] ...Sena-senpai sounds nice as always... ♪
Mmhmm~. It was a different sound, but a lot of people ended up liking it..♪
[they said it showed a different side to leo, a sweet side, which he's sort of embarrassed by; still, the song's good and it fits sena perfectly, his pretty voice blending with the sound.
ah, be still his beating heart. it's exactly what he wanted, and leo's hand idly clutches at his shirt as he closes his eyes, listening to it.]
Mm... Yeah, this fits him better for sure.
[and he'll go on to text sena too, taking the earbud from tsukasa once the song's played through. god, he hasn't the words? "thanks" will have to do.]
Sorry, let's keep walking. ♪ Mitzy's a spitfire texter, so our conversation shouldn't last long~.
[ tsukasa watches leo quietly, thoughtfully, but turns his attention back forward with a soft laugh ]
Don't worry about it, Leonii ♪ I'm just relieved you two are friends. [ friends. ] Sena-senpai can be a little difficult... Mmm, I mean, he's actually sort of nice, but... He's also...
[ ... ]
Never mind, I still don't know how to describe it. [ a sigh. ] Well~ whatever, I guess. It doesn't matter.
Yeah, he's... mm, how do I put it..? Can't say I've seen that niceness of his, except with cats, but I wouldn't call us friends. We know each other in another life. They might be close, [close enough to so heartfully say that sena inspires him to compose, god,] but I don't think we could be like that here.
[they're different. they get beneath each others' skin. but it's not like leo dislikes sena, not at all; he actually likes the other to an extent, from sena's appearance to his voice, to how he looks when he sits with cats... it's charming.]
I wouldn't mind being friends, but I don't think he feels the same. He doesn't really like me.
Sena-senpai's been very encouraging to me, both here and in our memories... He's also been pretty hard—pretty rude—to people I consider friends, and to me a little too, but... [ ...tsukasa's the kind of person who can't forget those little bits of kindness, who likes to believe there's good in people, in things. he checks his phone and turns a little right, pulling his brother along. ] ...he's been unbearably cruel to someone before, once, and I messed up—I think—when they told me about it, and I tried to be that same kind of— I tried to be encouraging and optimistic and...
[ his voice falters a little; he hesitates, biting the inside of his cheek, and watches the spottily painted ground. ]
They backed off the topic and didn't want to say anything, so I don't think... That's what they were looking for, even though I thought that's what I should've said... [ he's bad at things, still. he knows he's relatively well-adjusted, but he knows he still makes missteps because of their upbringing. it's hard. social situations are hard. ] But, um, back to senpai—
He's... [ ... ] I really like him, I guess, but I can't always recommend him to people because he can come off super terrible to people he doesn't get along with right away... I think I just got lucky because our first proper meeting wasn't that bad— we were working together for Anya's concert. In her concert. It was a lot of fun, and I guess we've sort of... become friends, maybe, or something like it, since then. At the very least, [ a small smile, ] I like joking that he has a soft spot for me, since he gives in relatively often to my requests, at least over text...~ And he'll talk me down from things, and he'll give me advice...~
[ ♪ ]
...He isn't that bad. You just need to find some common ground, I think, and then you two'll get along better. [ maybe. hopefully. he'd like it if that happened, he really would... ] Um, sorry if this is... I mean, I don't mean to force you or try to convince you or anything, or, um, I...
[leo listens quietly, attentive despite his downcast eyes (he's serious, huh? what would leo like for his birthday? he's gotten it, though, the thing he'd wanted most from sena, even if he's not satisfied with just that--), and he swings their hands idly.]
Music is our common ground. You're our common ground. But I don't say the things he wants to hear, and when I try it doesn't work right either; I'm not satisfied, you know? I don't mind reining back in for people I like, I do that with Kuro and Nazu, but it doesn't feel like I'm enough for that guy. He's always got some compla--
[oh that's
an actual ringtone, that's not his text tone, um. leo hesitates a moment, then glances at tsukasa with a shrugs as he picks it up.]
You actually called me! Hold on, hold on--
[then, leaning the phone away from them so he can talk to tsukasa:]
Mitzy's on the line. I'm gonna ask him to sing happy birthday to me since he has to be nice. It'll be quick, sorry, I wasn't expecting him to ring me up.
[ ........speak of the devil and the devil shall call, he guesses. he sighs a little and glances at him, a mixed look on his face. music is their common ground, he's their common ground, but it's not enough...? ]
It's fine, Leonii. Get your birthday song. [ leonii'd like to be friends, but sena-senpai's difficult...
it probably has to do with their memories, with the leo that'd been here before that tsukasa never had the chance to meet. he wonders if he'd be as wigged out about it as sena and hums softly. probably. if anything happened like that happened (again) to leo, if anything like that happened to anya or mafuyu or hinata, or chiyo or daisuke or izumi... mao, nazuna, clover, ayano...
oh. he has qui~te a lot of friends, doesn't he. ] I'm a little jealous though~. I should've asked him to sing for me, too... Ah, there's always next year.
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Okay.
The high school's getting worked on, so it should be easy enough to find... Let's meet there?
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i'll see you in a bit!!
[quite literally a bit, considering he'd just been hanging out at the park texting sena.]
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a big one. tight one. ah, he's really glad leo's here, still... and, sincerely sung a little: ]
「Happy birthday ♪」
[ ahaha. ]
You weren't busy or anything, were you?
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Nope! Just texting with Mitzy a bit, he covered one of my songs..♪ It doesn't fit his vocals one bit, so I told him to do one of my more ballady ones instead. That was a bit ago though.
[your brother doesn't realize the connection between his bday and sena Suddenly deciding to sing one of his songs.]
Where to first, where to first~?
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Mmm, okay... This way. [ taking leo's hand and pulling him along. ] Sena-senpai has a really lovely voice though, doesn't he? It suits him as much as a smile does... ♪ Even if it's also sort of weird to see him smile, too...? It's a little hard to describe. Mmm, he looks really lovely when he's happy, but it's such an odd expression since he's usually pretty grumpy... I guess.
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[could Almost imagine himself falling for it with his track record, almost. swing swing. ♪]
When'd you hear him sing? At that show in... what was it, December? He mentioned it once, kinda sad I didn't get to see it live.
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[ ahaha. ]
It was... fun, I guess. Performing like that, even if I'm really no good at it. [ swing, swing... ] I don't think I'd go for it for real though, not like in my memories. Just because I was an idol or something then doesn't mean I have to be one now, right..?
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[leo thinks he might be the only one inclined towards it? sena... said that he understood that feeling that leo spoke about, loves to sing, but. he's not for it, probably, pigeonholed into a model's life, songbird that he is. kuro's not inclined, nazuna hates singing for the most part (unless it'a with leo, only leo, who pushes him out of his comfort zone and admitted it became fun again with him), ritsu's also not inclined to his knowledge, and tsukasa would know the younger generation better than him.
it's a little lonely, the idle thought passes by, but he pays it little mind.]
It can be a hobby, too, since you're not planning on taking it seriously. Doing things like that half-assed means you're trying it ten years too early~.
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it starts again at a brief memory, but it's about composing, not performing, and tsukasa feels as embarrassed at asking as he is in his memories. a stupid question, both times. that was at the archery club again, huh... mm, a lot of things between him and leader happened then, didn't they. ]
I think taking it as a hobby's too serious for me too, really. [ mm. ] Would you like it more if I was interested in it though...? I mean, we had fun singing when we were younger, but I...
[ ... ]
I stopped after you left. [ a glance away. really, didn't their singing sessions become less frequent the older leo got, the less happy he was with their home situation, with their parents anyway...? ] It isn't like Mom and Dad discouraged me or anything, but I didn't feel like singing if you weren't going to be around to do it with me.
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he swings them idly, looking ahead and biting the inside of his cheek. ahhh, he'd been selfish, running off... he should've just apologized and lived as he had before. he could've waited until he'd become an adult, right? he could've done whatever he wanted then, but instead he left tsukasa, he--]
We~ll, I'm here now, so we can sing as much as we please. ♪ It doesn't matter to me if you're interested in it or not, just that you have fun while doing it.
[it's all lightly said, kindly said, and he squeezes tsukasa's hand. then, a little quieter, though he's still not looking at his brother. leo feels like if he does, he'll cry.]
... I missed you a lot in Japan, Tsuka. I thought every day of you, and I wondered how you were. If you were still doing watercolors, if you sang with Baba, if Mom and Dad had thrown out whatever I'd left behind... or if you'd hidden it away. Every birthday I wished I could be with you. I won't say I regret leaving, but I wish I'd taken you with me. You would've loved it there.
[but that doesn't solve anything. it doesn't dissolve him of his guilt, doesn't absolve him of his crimes, doesn't resolve the slight hesitance, the distance between them. leo knows this, but he never wants tsukasa to think for a second that he doesn't love him.]
Ah, but that's a little sad for a birthday, huh..~ Mm, mm, Tsuka, let's make up for the years we were apart today. ♪
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a sixteen year old, running off with a twelve year old. there's no way, not in any of their dreams, could that have really happened. leo was too selfish; tsukasa was too young. he knows that, and he knows his brother knows that. airports might be willing to let sixteen year olds go on by themselves, but with siblings four years younger than them...? unlikely.
he doesn't realize he's holding his breath until it comes out in a shaky laugh, mixed with feelings he doesn't know how to put a name to. saru o kiku, hito sutego ni aki no, kaze ika ni? ]
Sure, Leonii. [ maybe he would've loved it there, but maybe he would've hated it, too. maybe they would've never moved back here and maybe he would've never met the people who've become important to him, and maybe somehow, some way, that would've been better?
but really
he doesn't want it to be. he loves his brother, but he's realized he wouldn't trade away how he grew up without him for a life where he did. maybe that's the hurt hidden in his heart talking, and he jerks leo's hand as he goes a little faster. tsukasa suzakura's always worn his heart as a mask, but today, he's trying his best to grin when he turns to his brother, eyes shut tightly. ] Mm, yeah, let's do that! Which means— Leonii, let's get you a cake first, and then we can eat it when we're sitting down!
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Surprise me with the flavor~♪ I'll stand outside the bakery, so go all out!
[candles don't matter. he doesn't care about that. just a cake to share with his little brother.]
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the first bakery they find that's actually functional is the one that he goes into, and it's a while before he comes out with a massive cookie cake, with "happy birthday" pied in a weird gradient of yellow-pink frosting. actually, all of the frosting—from the balloons and fake streamers, to the lions he'd asked for—are that color.
...that was the blend a pair did for them okay, look— ]
Mom and Dad never let us have one of these, right~?
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[whatever patience his brother had waiting outside is swiftly taken care of, reaching for the cookie cake and gingerly taking it in his hands. ahhhhh..!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!]
Thank you. ♪ Let's go, let's go, I wanna dig into this as soon as possible! ♪ Oooh, the lions are a nice touch, you're such a sweet boy, Tsuka. ♪
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[ Of Course. safer, too, than asking for leo's name to be on the cake. ]
Mmm...~ Ten minutes until we arrive at our destination, Leoniisan. [ a touch more formal, but only because he's playing. ] Hopefully it isn't too much empty space, ahaha... It'd be nice if it was painted even a little bit already.
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I bet it is. There's been a lot of work done in a short amount of time, you know..♪ But if it isn't, then we'll just splash here and there and have tons of fun!
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[ THIS WOULD BE #DELINQUENCY IF THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE PAINTING THE WORLD ]
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[-- ah, hold on, hold on... his phone's chiming gently.]
Hold that thought, Mitzy got back to me on that song..~
[he'll tug out some earbuds to listen to it, pausing a moment before offering one to tsukasa too.]
It's a ballad! You know, the one that goes... ♪~♪~~♫
[... tsukasa will recognize it, okay. it's a soft, sweet love song.]
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Oh, right... The one that doesn't really suit your image, but it's pretty popular anyway, right? [ ...well, popular for the degree of... popularity leo was. is?
oh, but not bad ♪ well, he has faith that sena can sing pretty much anything, though. ] ...Sena-senpai sounds nice as always... ♪
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[they said it showed a different side to leo, a sweet side, which he's sort of embarrassed by; still, the song's good and it fits sena perfectly, his pretty voice blending with the sound.
ah, be still his beating heart. it's exactly what he wanted, and leo's hand idly clutches at his shirt as he closes his eyes, listening to it.]
Mm... Yeah, this fits him better for sure.
[and he'll go on to text sena too, taking the earbud from tsukasa once the song's played through. god, he hasn't the words? "thanks" will have to do.]
Sorry, let's keep walking. ♪ Mitzy's a spitfire texter, so our conversation shouldn't last long~.
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Don't worry about it, Leonii ♪ I'm just relieved you two are friends. [ friends. ] Sena-senpai can be a little difficult... Mmm, I mean, he's actually sort of nice, but... He's also...
[ ... ]
Never mind, I still don't know how to describe it. [ a sigh. ] Well~ whatever, I guess. It doesn't matter.
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[they're different. they get beneath each others' skin. but it's not like leo dislikes sena, not at all; he actually likes the other to an extent, from sena's appearance to his voice, to how he looks when he sits with cats... it's charming.]
I wouldn't mind being friends, but I don't think he feels the same. He doesn't really like me.
[ahahahahaha,]
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Sena-senpai's been very encouraging to me, both here and in our memories... He's also been pretty hard—pretty rude—to people I consider friends, and to me a little too, but... [ ...tsukasa's the kind of person who can't forget those little bits of kindness, who likes to believe there's good in people, in things. he checks his phone and turns a little right, pulling his brother along. ] ...he's been unbearably cruel to someone before, once, and I messed up—I think—when they told me about it, and I tried to be that same kind of— I tried to be encouraging and optimistic and...
[ his voice falters a little; he hesitates, biting the inside of his cheek, and watches the spottily painted ground. ]
They backed off the topic and didn't want to say anything, so I don't think... That's what they were looking for, even though I thought that's what I should've said... [ he's bad at things, still. he knows he's relatively well-adjusted, but he knows he still makes missteps because of their upbringing. it's hard. social situations are hard. ] But, um, back to senpai—
He's... [ ... ] I really like him, I guess, but I can't always recommend him to people because he can come off super terrible to people he doesn't get along with right away... I think I just got lucky because our first proper meeting wasn't that bad— we were working together for Anya's concert. In her concert. It was a lot of fun, and I guess we've sort of... become friends, maybe, or something like it, since then. At the very least, [ a small smile, ] I like joking that he has a soft spot for me, since he gives in relatively often to my requests, at least over text...~ And he'll talk me down from things, and he'll give me advice...~
[ ♪ ]
...He isn't that bad. You just need to find some common ground, I think, and then you two'll get along better. [ maybe. hopefully. he'd like it if that happened, he really would... ] Um, sorry if this is... I mean, I don't mean to force you or try to convince you or anything, or, um, I...
[ ............ ]
Y-yeah.
[ he's so fucking smooth. ]
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Music is our common ground. You're our common ground. But I don't say the things he wants to hear, and when I try it doesn't work right either; I'm not satisfied, you know? I don't mind reining back in for people I like, I do that with Kuro and Nazu, but it doesn't feel like I'm enough for that guy. He's always got some compla--
[oh that's
an actual ringtone, that's not his text tone, um. leo hesitates a moment, then glances at tsukasa with a shrugs as he picks it up.]
You actually called me! Hold on, hold on--
[then, leaning the phone away from them so he can talk to tsukasa:]
Mitzy's on the line. I'm gonna ask him to sing happy birthday to me since he has to be nice. It'll be quick, sorry, I wasn't expecting him to ring me up.
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It's fine, Leonii. Get your birthday song. [ leonii'd like to be friends, but sena-senpai's difficult...
it probably has to do with their memories, with the leo that'd been here before that tsukasa never had the chance to meet. he wonders if he'd be as wigged out about it as sena and hums softly. probably. if anything happened like that happened (again) to leo, if anything like that happened to anya or mafuyu or hinata, or chiyo or daisuke or izumi... mao, nazuna, clover, ayano...
oh. he has qui~te a lot of friends, doesn't he. ] I'm a little jealous though~. I should've asked him to sing for me, too... Ah, there's always next year.
[ a little wave though. go on, go on. ]
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