[leo laughs at tsukasa's conclusion in the end, heart aching the whole time through (he knows he should give up, he should've just let miai walk away from that conversation, but he didn't, he can't, it's too hard and too sudden), and he nuzzles his little brother's cheek.]
Maybe we should~. Love's a difficult thing, no matter how old you get..♪
[because matters of the heart aren't something he entirely understands either. as incomplete as miai feels, leo understands.]
Mm, but I know... I'm tryin', see. To give up on it. [bit by bit, he's been trying... or so he wants to say.] I just... I loved him a long time, Tsuka. Even when he didn't deserve it, even when he did, even when we were apart -- I loved him, and I can't forget that. He was my muse, my inspiration, my everything.
[hence
the change, suddenly, in leo's music. his grows softer now, so it doesn't strain, doesn't crack. he's smiling despite his words, a little resigned, more knowing than anything.]
Tsuka, don't put your entire life into one person. Not unless you know they can do the same for you. That's the lesson you can get from your big brother, who made someone his world and lost it in a day. Who has to watch a good friend have it instead and try not to hate it or him or them even if... even if it'd be easy to, even if it slips out.
I won't. [ even if he considers mafuyu and hinata to be so important to him, he has— other friends. he appreciates them, too. it's still upsetting, though. ] But, um... mmm. You should hate it if you hate it, Leonii. It's healthier to have those feelings and not repress them.
[ ......look, he knows, shut up— ]
If something slips out, then apologize. Not for feeling like that, because like Nazuna told me once, you can't really control how you feel about things... so you shouldn't feel guilty or anything? But for saying something that would probably hurt them. Um, I mean, everything aside, at the end of the day they both mean a lot to you. [ miai more so, maybe. another sigh, softer. ] I think that's what I'd do, too... but, um, maybe I'm not really the best litmus.
[you're not, he wants to reply, and pets tsukasa's hair instead. you're too young. inexperienced, even if i was your age when i had that pain.
he's trying to help his pitiful big brother and leo can appreciate that, so he doesn't say a word. hate it if he hates it (what's the point? making himself miserable isn't ideal), apologize if he says something undue (wouldn't it be better just to avoid conversation entirely?), don't repress the feelings that he has (when it's always been so easy? please)... mm, it's all good advice, it's all sound even from someone who isn't a good litmus, and leo hums softly.]
You're still too green to be giving your big brother advice, Tsuka. ♪ But I know you're right. Sorry if I worried you any, it's been... mm, it's been a long week.
[because this has been going on the whole week, really. discovery, then the movies with miai and seeing proof there, and now this. things come in threes.]
But your big bro'll be fine from now on~. I promise, you won't have to look after me any; I know how to handle my heart, and I'll put my frustrations on paper instead of others' ears. How's that? We'll do watercolors together at the shrine, just like we used to..♪
[ he's always worried about his brother~. but he won't say that, preferring to squeeze him again before he pulls away. ]
That sounds fun. [ because it does. painting together again with leonii, just like old times... even if he's certainly improved since then. ] Didn't Baba used to say that if your heart was clouded, your painting would getting muddy though~? You should probably hold off on adding color and focus on sketches first, niisan.
Mm~. I like black and white anyway, and I'll just stick to piercings for the rest of the month. Don't wanna mess up a customer's tattoo with my bad mojo.
[he can admit that much. his playing doesn't feel any better either (your heart is clouded, he can hear baba in his mind) but it's not so heavy on his hands anymore, doesn't feel too loud and clunky. that's nice.]
Do you wanna play some? I'll let you have the chair. ♪
[leo moves as he's nudged, hugging onto his brother from behind instead.]
We'll have the change that, won't we~? I'll teach you any instrument you want -- and at all, Tsuka, no matter what it may be. ♪ For now, just press the keys however you'd like and a chord will form..~
[ just press the keys however, huh... tsukasa closes his eyes the way he's seen his brother do and drifting his fingers across the board. it takes him a moment, but he slowly presses down and smiles without even thinking about it at the sound that faintly comes from the headphones around his neck. ]
[music and art are the same, in the end. you move your hand and something happens, pretty and simple. you can put plenty of simple things together to make something more complex and majestic, but basics are beautiful as well. especially to those just starting, those who're seeing building blocks for the first time.]
Mm..? Like me, huh? [...] Nope, can't teach you that. ♪ You'll usurp my spot if I teach you how to play the bass~.
[and
he doesn't want tsukasa to follow him more than he does, really. the bass isn't exactly a stepping stone in that direction, but there's just something nagging at him to deny him this.]
'Kay. Classical instruments like that aren't usually my style, but I've heard bands use them for a really unique sound..♪ If I train you well enough, maybe I'll take the keyboard and let you be my first chair.
[that'd be interesting. leo starts to play too, just with one hand, slow and aiming to help tsukasa make a melody. he'd done with with nazuna too, but this isn't going to end with a confession and kiss.]
N-No, I couldn't... [ his fingers stall, curl into his palm. ] Leonii, not even as a joke, you know? Or, um, you shouldn't joke like that, I guess... is what I mean.
[ ...he does. it was terrifying, he was so incredibly nervous, he could've just run and hid, but being on there... seeing everyone's smiles, watching people perform as he supported in the background...
it was fun. tsukasa puts his hands in his lap, lips pressed together. sure, he does, but... ]
...Not with you. [ soft. ] I already made a promise to someone~. That I'd be monomusicalist. I can't just let them down, you know?
[monomusicalist, huh... that's cute. he rests their cheeks together.]
Well... I can understand that. You shouldn't let them down, not if they're important enough to bring you onto the stage, someone you want to share music with. But how about this? You're just using me as a stepping stone, to get used to the feel of it, so when you're on stage with your true partner you won't fumble.
[is that... enough to convince him, maybe? or is it still not enough?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Maybe we should~. Love's a difficult thing, no matter how old you get..♪
[because matters of the heart aren't something he entirely understands either. as incomplete as miai feels, leo understands.]
Mm, but I know... I'm tryin', see. To give up on it. [bit by bit, he's been trying... or so he wants to say.] I just... I loved him a long time, Tsuka. Even when he didn't deserve it, even when he did, even when we were apart -- I loved him, and I can't forget that. He was my muse, my inspiration, my everything.
[hence
the change, suddenly, in leo's music. his grows softer now, so it doesn't strain, doesn't crack. he's smiling despite his words, a little resigned, more knowing than anything.]
Tsuka, don't put your entire life into one person. Not unless you know they can do the same for you. That's the lesson you can get from your big brother, who made someone his world and lost it in a day. Who has to watch a good friend have it instead and try not to hate it or him or them even if... even if it'd be easy to, even if it slips out.
no subject
[ ......look, he knows, shut up— ]
If something slips out, then apologize. Not for feeling like that, because like Nazuna told me once, you can't really control how you feel about things... so you shouldn't feel guilty or anything? But for saying something that would probably hurt them. Um, I mean, everything aside, at the end of the day they both mean a lot to you. [ miai more so, maybe. another sigh, softer. ] I think that's what I'd do, too... but, um, maybe I'm not really the best litmus.
no subject
he's trying to help his pitiful big brother and leo can appreciate that, so he doesn't say a word. hate it if he hates it (what's the point? making himself miserable isn't ideal), apologize if he says something undue (wouldn't it be better just to avoid conversation entirely?), don't repress the feelings that he has (when it's always been so easy? please)... mm, it's all good advice, it's all sound even from someone who isn't a good litmus, and leo hums softly.]
You're still too green to be giving your big brother advice, Tsuka. ♪ But I know you're right. Sorry if I worried you any, it's been... mm, it's been a long week.
[because this has been going on the whole week, really. discovery, then the movies with miai and seeing proof there, and now this. things come in threes.]
But your big bro'll be fine from now on~. I promise, you won't have to look after me any; I know how to handle my heart, and I'll put my frustrations on paper instead of others' ears. How's that? We'll do watercolors together at the shrine, just like we used to..♪
no subject
That sounds fun. [ because it does. painting together again with leonii, just like old times... even if he's certainly improved since then. ] Didn't Baba used to say that if your heart was clouded, your painting would getting muddy though~? You should probably hold off on adding color and focus on sketches first, niisan.
no subject
[he can admit that much. his playing doesn't feel any better either (your heart is clouded, he can hear baba in his mind) but it's not so heavy on his hands anymore, doesn't feel too loud and clunky. that's nice.]
Do you wanna play some? I'll let you have the chair. ♪
no subject
[ even if he's nudging his brother out of the chair with his hip—sure he wants to play some, since... ]
Genuinely, too. I've never played an instrument before at all.
no subject
We'll have the change that, won't we~? I'll teach you any instrument you want -- and at all, Tsuka, no matter what it may be. ♪ For now, just press the keys however you'd like and a chord will form..~
no subject
Then... How about the bass, like you?
no subject
Mm..? Like me, huh? [...] Nope, can't teach you that. ♪ You'll usurp my spot if I teach you how to play the bass~.
[and
he doesn't want tsukasa to follow him more than he does, really. the bass isn't exactly a stepping stone in that direction, but there's just something nagging at him to deny him this.]
no subject
[ leo said anything. tsukasa keeps playing, notes hesitant and unmatched. ]
Mmm... Viola?
no subject
[that'd be interesting. leo starts to play too, just with one hand, slow and aiming to help tsukasa make a melody. he'd done with with nazuna too, but this isn't going to end with a confession and kiss.]
no subject
[ :sweat_drops: ]
N-No, I couldn't... [ his fingers stall, curl into his palm. ] Leonii, not even as a joke, you know? Or, um, you shouldn't joke like that, I guess... is what I mean.
no subject
[a simple question, waltzing delicately across the keys in the other's absence.]
Just because you're not good right now doesn't mean you'll never be good, Tsuka. Just like with singing. Don't you want to feel the stage again?
no subject
[ ...he does. it was terrifying, he was so incredibly nervous, he could've just run and hid, but being on there... seeing everyone's smiles, watching people perform as he supported in the background...
it was fun. tsukasa puts his hands in his lap, lips pressed together. sure, he does, but... ]
...Not with you. [ soft. ] I already made a promise to someone~. That I'd be monomusicalist. I can't just let them down, you know?
no subject
[monomusicalist, huh... that's cute. he rests their cheeks together.]
Well... I can understand that. You shouldn't let them down, not if they're important enough to bring you onto the stage, someone you want to share music with. But how about this? You're just using me as a stepping stone, to get used to the feel of it, so when you're on stage with your true partner you won't fumble.
[is that... enough to convince him, maybe? or is it still not enough?]
no subject
...Why do you want to perform with me?
no subject
[a simple answer, now.]
Like I do with everyone I love... You and Baba, and-- others, too.
[miai. nazu. kuro and suzu.]
It's a selfish older brother's wish, so you don't have to listen to it... But at least once, I'd like to perform with you on the same stage.
no subject
[ of course it's something as simple as that. ]
Um... mmm... [ ... ] Okay.
no subject
he accepted ♪
leo's cuddling tsukasa with a happy hum, nuzzling his little brother. ♪]
Ya~y! It's a promise then, Tsuka, gimme your pinky!
no subject
Pinky-promise~.
no subject
Pinky-promise~. It's perfect, 'cause you even have a piercing already. ♪ It's a requirement. ♪
no subject
no subject
[ominous.]
no subject
And... why is that...?
no subject
[y
yeah.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)