[he is far, far too relieved at the reply, all wound up from the lack of one prior, and his heart thuds steadily in his chest. one-two, one-two.]
who cares who deserves what humans are allowed their faults, their sins we're not barred from shit just because we make mistakes
so if your guilt's from this, too then consider it heard god'll forgive you and so will i. that's me being kind
[leo's mostly just tired, emotionally spent, but
miai deserves this much, right? or is this the kind of thing you don't forgive..? mmmm, whatever.]
you were never "good enough" in my eyes anyway you were always that far off tight roper, the tamer on display the golden boy loved by the people around him even if you weren't perfect, even if you were incomplete i never thought of you that way or as poison i just thought of you as miai the guy i love
( that's probably the closest he's gotten to joking this entire time
still, now he's quiet for several long moments, at a loss. he ... does want those things, that fun, friendship, leo's warmth, and leo's words here soften him, but
if he takes advantage of leo's kindness again, no matter how much leo insists he's forgiven, then
regardless, it stings - hurts, maybe - because those words have a sense of finality, because there's no road here, because )
i'll think about it
to answer your question there's never been a replacement for you though i'd looked
you didn't talk about yours yet, miai i'm not going to let you slice me open and then not do the same to you it's not fair, you know always doing this
[maybe not always-always, but enough. leo'd always quietly accepted the end of conversations, or did it himself, unsatisfied.
... the admittance that it's always still just leo, that there's no replacement, hurts more than it brings him happiness, though, because--
they're both a little too late, no matter how much they might want it. maybe there could be a future for them again, but there's too much to work out right now to think about it.
and it wouldn't be fair to ritsu, to nazuna.]
i'll break into your place and shake you down if you don't or if you're not there, i know where rittsu lives too don't think either of us want him involved so talk to me if i'm always showing this stupid side of myself to you, then you can show me yours, can't you?
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no subject
who cares who deserves what
humans are allowed their faults, their sins
we're not barred from shit just because we make mistakes
so
if your guilt's from this, too
then consider it heard
god'll forgive you
and
so will i. that's me being kind
[leo's mostly just tired, emotionally spent, but
miai deserves this much, right? or is this the kind of thing you don't forgive..? mmmm, whatever.]
you were never "good enough" in my eyes anyway
you were always that far off tight roper, the tamer on display
the golden boy loved by the people around him
even if you weren't perfect, even if you were incomplete
i never thought of you that way
or as poison
i just thought of you as miai
the guy i love
no subject
( that's probably the closest he's gotten to joking this entire time
still, now he's quiet for several long moments, at a loss. he ... does want those things, that fun, friendship, leo's warmth, and leo's words here soften him, but
if he takes advantage of leo's kindness again, no matter how much leo insists he's forgiven, then
regardless, it stings - hurts, maybe - because those words have a sense of finality, because there's no road here, because )
i'll think about it
to answer your question
there's never been a replacement for you
though i'd looked
there's only you
( pause, then exhale )
good night, sleep well
it's getting late
( evidently, he planned to end this here )
no subject
i'm not going to let you slice me open and then not do the same to you
it's not fair, you know
always doing this
[maybe not always-always, but enough. leo'd always quietly accepted the end of conversations, or did it himself, unsatisfied.
... the admittance that it's always still just leo, that there's no replacement, hurts more than it brings him happiness, though, because--
they're both a little too late, no matter how much they might want it. maybe there could be a future for them again, but there's too much to work out right now to think about it.
and it wouldn't be fair to ritsu, to nazuna.]
i'll break into your place and shake you down if you don't
or if you're not there, i know where rittsu lives too
don't think either of us want him involved
so talk to me
if i'm always showing this stupid side of myself to you, then you can show me yours, can't you?
no subject
you're right but
can we talk about it a little later?
i don't remember what i was upset about
( which sounds. weird without explaining but he can't really explain right now )
no subject
sure
sorry
sleep well, aiai
whenever you manage it
no subject
he doesn't respond, but he does read it )