[While he's sketching Ritsu takes the opportunity to turn his head to watch Leo work. If it was going to be on his back he was curious what Leo might be thinking.]
Yeah...it wasn't really my choice? Removal is expensive too probably more than I can afford.
[Leo was the real MVP.]
That's fine, I just want to not have to cover it up anymore.
[Thinking he hums to himself before looking into the empty space beside Leo.]
Roses maybe? Those are nice and can come in lots of colors? I'm not good at flower language stuff.
Flower language's not important if you don't want it to be... and to be honest, not a lot of people know it these days anyway. I know it 'cause I helped arrange flowers growing up, painted tanzaku, stuff like that. Baba taught me.
[but roses are nice... he can have one in the center of this "eye", and maybe sprinkle other kinds of lowers to break it up like a real bouquet. roses, carnations, sprigs of dahlia to cover the worst of the tattoo...
he stares at the design as he thinks, idly drawing a different flower than all the rest off to the side. he won't lay a curse on ritsu. there's a small part of him that wants to, petty, but he won't.]
I'll draw a few and you'll tell me if you're happy with any of them, if any come close, and I'll fix whatever you want. 'Kay?
I like that. Hmm roses are just pretty to me and the choices for colors are really nice. Oh? So what do roses mean Ousama?
[He's curious about it now but also trying to lighten the mood if it got heavy.
If he was cursed it wouldn't be much different, part of him still feels bad and he didn't want to hurt Leo. So after a moment of silence he speaks moving his head back on his folded arms.]
I trust you. I know it's asking a lot after everything.
Usually romantic love, but there's stuff like "jealousy" and "purity" mixed in dependin' on colors... Blue's unnatural, by the way, so it means something like "impossible" or "i desire you greatly".
[it's an easy topic to get onto, and he lets the quiet linger; ritsu speaking up again pauses his sketches, the scratching starting up after a moment.]
Rittsu, it's okay, alright..? There's no "everything" to worry about, I promise. What's between me and him is stayin' between me and him; the last thing either of us wanna do is get others involved. So relax, relax, I won't give you a bad tat. No hard feelings.
[miai's wonderful, after all, for all his flaws. even now leo can admit that to himself, even if he hates that they're avoiding each other.]
You really know a lot about them. Are they unnatural? So they were man-made then?
[Ritsu didn't expect him to give him a bad tat, more he just doesn't want to be a problem? Feelings with friends are still pretty new for him and even after a year of finally having friends he still doesn't know what is normal. Especially when it came to dating a friends Ex...]
It's a little hard though, since I am between you guys now? Not to ruffle anything...just stating what I see.
[Especially when he does have kiss marks from the said man on him.]
You aren't that cruel to give me a bad tat...besides can't mess up what's already messed up.
[In reference to the tattoo...maybe.]
I don't want him questioning it anymore. [Ritsu mumbles the last bit.]
Yup~. You can change the color of flowers by putting dye in their water. When it soaks it up, their petals take on the shades, it's pretty neat.
[and nothing he will ever reveal to anyone if he can help it, ritsu's special though. very easy to talk to.]
There's... always been a lot between us, [he says after a moment,] a lot of things we never said that we should've years ago, maybe. Miai's taken lovers before, but you're the first person he's gotten involved with like this since... forever.
[since himself.]
It just stings a little. [that he wasn't the one asked. more than a little too. like a bucket of cold water, or a slap to the face, both bringing him back to reality.] I took him for granted, always assumin' he'd be there and with no one outside of a night of fun. If I wanted to make sure he was there, I should've just asked him out again, but I didn't. So it's my loss.
[it's something he and miai'll talk about later this week, too. why he hadn't. leo'll slide over a paper with a few sketches on it, roses blooming in the curves of the tattoo and in the center, while carnations sit on what used to be the straight edges and swirl out with dahlias in a sort of whirling pattern.
with leo's style, it almost looks like they're dancing. the differences in sketches is mostly just the placement of flowers, the number of them, but the composition's generally the same. he'd want to ask after the "questioning" bit, since miai especially rarely questions anything, but he did claim he isn't the sort to do that. mmm. some later date, when ritsu's tattoo is complete.]
That's really cool though...kind of hiding their real color in a way?
[Ritsu is quiet as he listens to Leo and he can tell it was a sore topic but he appreciates that Leo can talk to him about it. Everything of having a 'boyfriend' was new for him and he didn't really expect it but it was nice to come home to something besides an empty bed? Even if it was a surprise when Miai might be over.]
I didn't know you guys were so close until after he asked... [Running a hand through his hair he lets out a long breath.]
I never dated anyone...and the person that the other me seems close to...isn't someone I think I can be with here?
[There was a growing sense of frustration.]
Or if those feelings are mine or another me?
[He pauses.] That doesn't mean I would hurt Miai, I like him but...I also want to know a more about him?
[He wants to but asking personal things feels like it might get messy too?
Feeling a little silly spilling some feelings like that he looks at the sketch. They were really good, it was going to be a big piece but pretty too.]
well, that makes sense. the memories affecting current feelings then. leo's not really experiencing that himself (he thinks?), but he can understand. he'll look over the sketches again and then pat ritsu's back, taking out a special marker and leaning over him to start drawing on his skin delicately.]
Well, I don't know about feelings, but what's stopping you from being with the person the other you's close to?
[age............ it's not tsuka, right? who're the other youngings. mao? mao is tsuka's age. makoto's sort of in their age range though, so
well, if it's mao, leo personally thinks the other ritsu has Good Taste. he's very good looking....... if only he were older,]
You're such a good boy, Rittsu... If it were me, I probably wouldn't care about that sort of thing. [he does though.] I'm a selfish person who goes for what I want no matter the consequence.
[which is true, he is, but. he also regrets things after the fact, sometimes.]
[everyone gets jealous over stupid stuff. it's fine!!!!]
What'd he say about it? I mean, whatever you choose is gonna be whatever you choose, but I don't see the harm in poking at something to figure things out either... mm, things only ruin friendship if you let them, too.
Bingo~. I thought so. There's not a lot of people that it could be, you know? That it'd be a problem for you, anyway. Mm, Mao~'s not bad lookin' though, if he was a little older..♪
[it's okay, ritsu. he's drawing with one hand and petting his hair with the other. the way he says mao's name is a lot like a cat's meow by the way.]
That's not bad advice, anyway. You should listen to it. It's sort of like, if he approaches you about it, you'll talk about it sort of thing, and that's fine. Seems like that's how we're working anyway.
[Admitting the name out loud was embarrassing...more so since he does care for Miai and wants to be with him. This is the point where maybe his other life is just that...another life.
The way Leo says it does have him chuckling.]
You sound like a cat with his name, Ousama~
[Shifting a little he does let out another breath.]
Yeah, guess you're right. Besides I'm happy with Miai, Maakun is enjoying his high school life too.
[hm~. it's good to hear ritsu laugh, even if it's at how he says mao's name. leo'll keep petting ritsu's head though, since he doesn't really need to be as precise as possible with this.]
Let him enjoy it. ♪ Miai's a handful anyway, though I'm po~sitive you've experienced that by now. Not in a bad way.
[miai's fun. warm and gentle, but very... consuming. being the center of his undivided attention is thrilling. mm.]
Don't think he'd mind it if you asked him things, though. It's not like he's a closed off person... there're things he's pretty roundabout about, or avoids like a professional dancer -- sort of flows past them -- but Miai's open about pretty much anything. And I don't mind answering things either.
[though he's not sure. if ritsu would take that option, really, for harder stuff. leo knows his bias can be a pain.]
Like what his favorite flower is, or where he'd like to be taken on a date, stuff like that.
[The pats earn that happy hum. It was a good feeling, Leo knew how to calm him...he's glad for that.]
Have I...he likes to leave marks too huh? [He teases it. Ritsu's experience with Miai has been a whirlwind of firsts.]
Yeah, sometimes I think he avoids things but he's pretty open with most things. I felt a little bad not telling him something but...I just don't want to talk about it.
[well. at least their experiences have been similar in more than just the physical way, leo guesses, between miai's tendency to mark up whoever he's with and avoid certain topics with the grace of a high wire act. he pets ritsu a little more before moving back to finish up the tattoo's base. it's. hard not to be fond when he's talking about miai, voice softening, warming a bit.]
He loves sunflowers... He used to tease that he'd lose me in them if we ever went to a field. Roses, too, and... mm, what were they. [...] Peonies? I think. A bouquet of miniature sunflowers would probably brighten his day, and they're pretty much in season this time of year, so the flower shops should have them. ♪
As for dates, Miai's sort of an outdoorsy person~. We used to explore a lot and go off on things like that, camping and whatnot. I'd probably suggest evening walks or somethin' like that, he'll look super pretty under the night sky anyway.
[... he shouldn't be telling ritsu these sort of things, a part of him thinks, giving him advice and the like. the better part of him says it's good that he is. he's supporting his good friend ritsu, who he adores. it's fine, it's right, this should be rewarding
even if it partly isn't, and marks some final details before moving to pull his tools closer, a power box which... frankly looks more like a radio, it has numbers when leo turns it on and dials he adjusts, a few of the headphone-like plug in spots already taken by tools. the tattoo machine's needle buzzes to life and he squints at it, trying to find a good speed, i'm sorry this sounds terrifying.]
[It was really cute to hear Leo talk about Miai. Even if he does feel a little envious too. It must be nice to know someone for so long and trust them like that. He didn't know anyone that well...There was Mao but they were friends here, even if in their other lives it felt a lot more 'deep'. Aside from that he's known Secchan for a while.]
Hmmm~ They all sound like good choices.
I've never really been camping...so I might like it. You know so much about him, Ousama.
[He says it as a compliment. More than glad to know more he makes sure to not step on toes. At first he was a little cautious to even date Miai but it wasn't bad now. Now with covering the tattoo he hopes it will solidify something akin to safety from the past.
Bracing himself a little more when he sees the box and hears the buzzing of the machine. Ritsu read that coverups can hurt but he will grin and bare it.]
Mmm. We were only together for a year, and we'd be apart from time to time, but when we were in the same area we couldn't get enough of the other. [god, it sucks to remember that now.] I did everything I could to woo him~. I bet it was a funny sight.
[they do tend to hurt, ritsu's got that right, and he gently rubs ritsu's back to relax him a bit more before settling against him to start. it's a lot like a pressured vibration against the thicker skin like this, but it's probably a little worse against what amounts to scar tissue with the other tattoo.]
Heh, I'm sure it was~ Though it was probably cute too...since Ousama is cute.
[His tone is teasing since he knows Leo fusses when he calls him cute. It was true though, Leo was a cute guy.
Pressing his face to the chair he feels the vibrations and pressure. It wasn't bad at the moment more like nails on his skin, so he settles the moment it hits the scarred skin he knows is when it gets real.]
[leo scowls, face heating up, but he settles for pinching ritsu with his free hand as he works.]
Don't call me that~. He thought so too, I'm sure, considerin' how often he'd call me things like that...
[... mm. miai's the only one who can get away with it too, calling him cute and pretty. he probably shouldn't stay that way, being the exception, but it's weird to imagine not reacting to anyone doing it. mm, mm.]
You'd better be, though. ♪ It's not every day I get to do something like this. ♪ Most people have an idea of what they want comin' in, so gettin' to do my own thing and have it approved is nice.
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Yeah...it wasn't really my choice? Removal is expensive too probably more than I can afford.
[Leo was the real MVP.]
That's fine, I just want to not have to cover it up anymore.
[Thinking he hums to himself before looking into the empty space beside Leo.]
Roses maybe? Those are nice and can come in lots of colors? I'm not good at flower language stuff.
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[but roses are nice... he can have one in the center of this "eye", and maybe sprinkle other kinds of lowers to break it up like a real bouquet. roses, carnations, sprigs of dahlia to cover the worst of the tattoo...
he stares at the design as he thinks, idly drawing a different flower than all the rest off to the side. he won't lay a curse on ritsu. there's a small part of him that wants to, petty, but he won't.]
I'll draw a few and you'll tell me if you're happy with any of them, if any come close, and I'll fix whatever you want. 'Kay?
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[He's curious about it now but also trying to lighten the mood if it got heavy.
If he was cursed it wouldn't be much different, part of him still feels bad and he didn't want to hurt Leo. So after a moment of silence he speaks moving his head back on his folded arms.]
I trust you. I know it's asking a lot after everything.
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[it's an easy topic to get onto, and he lets the quiet linger; ritsu speaking up again pauses his sketches, the scratching starting up after a moment.]
Rittsu, it's okay, alright..? There's no "everything" to worry about, I promise. What's between me and him is stayin' between me and him; the last thing either of us wanna do is get others involved. So relax, relax, I won't give you a bad tat. No hard feelings.
[miai's wonderful, after all, for all his flaws. even now leo can admit that to himself, even if he hates that they're avoiding each other.]
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[Ritsu didn't expect him to give him a bad tat, more he just doesn't want to be a problem? Feelings with friends are still pretty new for him and even after a year of finally having friends he still doesn't know what is normal. Especially when it came to dating a friends Ex...]
It's a little hard though, since I am between you guys now? Not to ruffle anything...just stating what I see.
[Especially when he does have kiss marks from the said man on him.]
You aren't that cruel to give me a bad tat...besides can't mess up what's already messed up.
[In reference to the tattoo...maybe.]
I don't want him questioning it anymore. [Ritsu mumbles the last bit.]
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[and nothing he will ever reveal to anyone if he can help it, ritsu's special though. very easy to talk to.]
There's... always been a lot between us, [he says after a moment,] a lot of things we never said that we should've years ago, maybe. Miai's taken lovers before, but you're the first person he's gotten involved with like this since... forever.
[since himself.]
It just stings a little. [that he wasn't the one asked. more than a little too. like a bucket of cold water, or a slap to the face, both bringing him back to reality.] I took him for granted, always assumin' he'd be there and with no one outside of a night of fun. If I wanted to make sure he was there, I should've just asked him out again, but I didn't. So it's my loss.
[it's something he and miai'll talk about later this week, too. why he hadn't. leo'll slide over a paper with a few sketches on it, roses blooming in the curves of the tattoo and in the center, while carnations sit on what used to be the straight edges and swirl out with dahlias in a sort of whirling pattern.
with leo's style, it almost looks like they're dancing. the differences in sketches is mostly just the placement of flowers, the number of them, but the composition's generally the same. he'd want to ask after the "questioning" bit, since miai especially rarely questions anything, but he did claim he isn't the sort to do that. mmm. some later date, when ritsu's tattoo is complete.]
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[Ritsu is quiet as he listens to Leo and he can tell it was a sore topic but he appreciates that Leo can talk to him about it. Everything of having a 'boyfriend' was new for him and he didn't really expect it but it was nice to come home to something besides an empty bed? Even if it was a surprise when Miai might be over.]
I didn't know you guys were so close until after he asked... [Running a hand through his hair he lets out a long breath.]
I never dated anyone...and the person that the other me seems close to...isn't someone I think I can be with here?
[There was a growing sense of frustration.]
Or if those feelings are mine or another me?
[He pauses.] That doesn't mean I would hurt Miai, I like him but...I also want to know a more about him?
[He wants to but asking personal things feels like it might get messy too?
Feeling a little silly spilling some feelings like that he looks at the sketch. They were really good, it was going to be a big piece but pretty too.]
It's really good~
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[oh
well, that makes sense. the memories affecting current feelings then. leo's not really experiencing that himself (he thinks?), but he can understand. he'll look over the sketches again and then pat ritsu's back, taking out a special marker and leaning over him to start drawing on his skin delicately.]
Well, I don't know about feelings, but what's stopping you from being with the person the other you's close to?
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[Ritsu sighs again before he sets his head down against the chair.]
Age...honestly? Plus I don't want to push it on him when he's not sure about the other him.
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well, if it's mao, leo personally thinks the other ritsu has Good Taste. he's very good looking....... if only he were older,]
You're such a good boy, Rittsu... If it were me, I probably wouldn't care about that sort of thing. [he does though.] I'm a selfish person who goes for what I want no matter the consequence.
[which is true, he is, but. he also regrets things after the fact, sometimes.]
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Life was cruel in recolle. At least he was attracted to miai and he was treating him really well.]
Am I? [He has to really question that fact...he got jealous over some really dumb stuff.]
I talked to Secchan about it but...I just don't want to ruin a friendship because I can't figure myself out.
[God does he want to be selfish though...]
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What'd he say about it? I mean, whatever you choose is gonna be whatever you choose, but I don't see the harm in poking at something to figure things out either... mm, things only ruin friendship if you let them, too.
[... he should talk to miai. hm.]
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That maybe it was best to not confuse him or wait til Maakun figured out more...
[There is a surreal moment when he realizes he name dropped and he's quick to hide his face. Fuck.]
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[it's okay, ritsu. he's drawing with one hand and petting his hair with the other. the way he says mao's name is a lot like a cat's meow by the way.]
That's not bad advice, anyway. You should listen to it. It's sort of like, if he approaches you about it, you'll talk about it sort of thing, and that's fine. Seems like that's how we're working anyway.
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[Admitting the name out loud was embarrassing...more so since he does care for Miai and wants to be with him. This is the point where maybe his other life is just that...another life.
The way Leo says it does have him chuckling.]
You sound like a cat with his name, Ousama~
[Shifting a little he does let out another breath.]
Yeah, guess you're right. Besides I'm happy with Miai, Maakun is enjoying his high school life too.
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Let him enjoy it. ♪ Miai's a handful anyway, though I'm po~sitive you've experienced that by now. Not in a bad way.
[miai's fun. warm and gentle, but very... consuming. being the center of his undivided attention is thrilling. mm.]
Don't think he'd mind it if you asked him things, though. It's not like he's a closed off person... there're things he's pretty roundabout about, or avoids like a professional dancer -- sort of flows past them -- but Miai's open about pretty much anything. And I don't mind answering things either.
[though he's not sure. if ritsu would take that option, really, for harder stuff. leo knows his bias can be a pain.]
Like what his favorite flower is, or where he'd like to be taken on a date, stuff like that.
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Have I...he likes to leave marks too huh? [He teases it. Ritsu's experience with Miai has been a whirlwind of firsts.]
Yeah, sometimes I think he avoids things but he's pretty open with most things. I felt a little bad not telling him something but...I just don't want to talk about it.
[Was it really that selfish?]
Oh~? So what are those answers?
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He loves sunflowers... He used to tease that he'd lose me in them if we ever went to a field. Roses, too, and... mm, what were they. [...] Peonies? I think. A bouquet of miniature sunflowers would probably brighten his day, and they're pretty much in season this time of year, so the flower shops should have them. ♪
As for dates, Miai's sort of an outdoorsy person~. We used to explore a lot and go off on things like that, camping and whatnot. I'd probably suggest evening walks or somethin' like that, he'll look super pretty under the night sky anyway.
[... he shouldn't be telling ritsu these sort of things, a part of him thinks, giving him advice and the like. the better part of him says it's good that he is. he's supporting his good friend ritsu, who he adores. it's fine, it's right, this should be rewarding
even if it partly isn't, and marks some final details before moving to pull his tools closer, a power box which... frankly looks more like a radio, it has numbers when leo turns it on and dials he adjusts, a few of the headphone-like plug in spots already taken by tools. the tattoo machine's needle buzzes to life and he squints at it, trying to find a good speed, i'm sorry this sounds terrifying.]
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Hmmm~ They all sound like good choices.
I've never really been camping...so I might like it. You know so much about him, Ousama.
[He says it as a compliment. More than glad to know more he makes sure to not step on toes. At first he was a little cautious to even date Miai but it wasn't bad now. Now with covering the tattoo he hopes it will solidify something akin to safety from the past.
Bracing himself a little more when he sees the box and hears the buzzing of the machine. Ritsu read that coverups can hurt but he will grin and bare it.]
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[they do tend to hurt, ritsu's got that right, and he gently rubs ritsu's back to relax him a bit more before settling against him to start. it's a lot like a pressured vibration against the thicker skin like this, but it's probably a little worse against what amounts to scar tissue with the other tattoo.]
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[His tone is teasing since he knows Leo fusses when he calls him cute. It was true though, Leo was a cute guy.
Pressing his face to the chair he feels the vibrations and pressure. It wasn't bad at the moment more like nails on his skin, so he settles the moment it hits the scarred skin he knows is when it gets real.]
I excited to see it finished.
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Don't call me that~. He thought so too, I'm sure, considerin' how often he'd call me things like that...
[... mm. miai's the only one who can get away with it too, calling him cute and pretty. he probably shouldn't stay that way, being the exception, but it's weird to imagine not reacting to anyone doing it. mm, mm.]
You'd better be, though. ♪ It's not every day I get to do something like this. ♪ Most people have an idea of what they want comin' in, so gettin' to do my own thing and have it approved is nice.
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Kuku~ Oh? Well I think it's true though if I say it too much...Ousama might leave bruises from the pinching.
[Ritsu sticks his tongue out for Leo to see.]
I don't think I would let anyone else have that much power...I believe in your work~